The Keys To A Happy Marriage As Told By Our Parents

Faith:

“Husbands, the relationship with your wife may be the only marriage book your children ever read. Make sure the day they move out they won’t feel like they spent their entire life reading fiction.” -Dale Partridge

I ran across this quote a couple months ago and the moment I read it I paused. Now, I don’t have children yet, but I pray they see our marriage just as I see my own parent’s marriage.

A marriage where you both give 100% effort into making it an incredible one. Where you appreciate each other’s flaws. Where you don’t try and change them to fit your viewpoint, but love them where they are at in life.

Where you push each other to be the best version of themselves. Where you view each other as teammates, ready to compliment each other’s strengths and show support when needed. A mindset of it’s you and them against the world. A marriage that has God at the center through the dark times and the great times.

A marriage that no matter how many years you’ve been together you still look like you are in that “honeymoon” stage. A marriage that to some may seem fiction because can you really have a love that strong, that supportive, that incredible? But, after seeing that love in them you realize it’s complete truth.

I feel completely blessed that I have parents who made their marriage a priority and in turn instilled in us kids what a marriage should look like. A marriage where you are each other’s best friend.  Isn’t that the greatest blessing you can give a child? A marriage that is full of laughter, joy, and Christ.

This past month our parents celebrated another wedding anniversary. 36 years ago, a skinny strawberry-blonde girl and a flowing head of hair boy stood before God and family and said: “I do.” Now, not everyone gets married at 19, but for my parents, it worked. Not everyone around them thought they were being smart about the idea. Many people thought they were insane and way too young. Yet, here we are 36 years later and still two people so in love you would think they got married last week.

Throughout life people constantly ask, “What’s the key to a happy marriage?” I mean it’s asked at EVERY bridal shower, it’s a game for goodness sake. Give the best advice and get a little thing of hand soap.

Yet, throughout all my bridal shower advice games I think my parents sum it up best:

“You marry your best friend and God will help you take care of the rest.” -Mama Julie and Papa Brad

Paige:

The sun was beating down on our terra cotta colored patio and the words of wisdom were pouring through my ears. “When you love someone you love them, you don’t have to justify to anyone how you feel about them. Your father is my best friend and I just love him, I don’t know.”   The words resonated, louder than any other thought in my head. She was right when you love someone. You love them.

I had just gotten home from a long weekend in Tacoma, Washington with my now husband, Andrew. We had gotten engaged and I was recapping the experience with my mother since she knew the whole time and I obviously didn’t. I was a ripe 20-year-old and even though I was excited to start an adventure with my BFF, I was also scared.

My parents got married when they were also 20 years young.  My mom always laughs when she recalls that everyone assumed she was pregnant even though my brother, Nickolas, didn’t make an appearance for another five years. Looks like Mama Julie had the longest pregnancy known to mankind. I have always admired my parents’ relaxed mindsets. The peace shared with one another is a rarity.

Brad and Julie are two perfect extensions of each other. Therefore, in my humble opinion, they are the primary example of what a marriage should be. No, their marriage is not perfect even though every child assumes that their parents’ love is nothing short of a fairy tale. But the imperfections of their relationship is what makes it such a shining example in our world of the 50/50 chance.

They don’t always agree on things, but the fact that they don’t agree on everything shows that they remain independent, yet unified. They celebrate the other’s differences. They respect that on Thursday Dad goes golfing and this gives Mom time to go check out that farmer’s market she’s been thinking about. They don’t sacrifice their autonomy. They love each other for who they are.

But it is not their mindsets, self-independence, or mutual respect that makes their relationship so admirable. No, it’s the way they love each other. It’s in the dips Dad does in the kitchen just to steal a kiss from his wife of 30+ years. It’s in the back scratches Mom always gives into. The fierce protection Dad has when they’re out together with eyes of a man who would step in between a bullet or car to protect the mother of his children. The way they love is the best lesson they could have taught us, kids. When you love someone, you give them your all or you give them nothing at all.